'I Have To Feed Myself, My Family and My Country...'


'I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country', since 2012


Hit Man Gurung’s series ‘I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country’ addresses labour migration, a phenomena prevalent in South Asian countries like Nepal. The labourers, most of whom are young and middle-aged, come from marginalized and underprivileged backgrounds. They leave their families and their homeland with the dream of pursuing a better life. Sadly, migrant labourers are often subjected to exploitation. Abuse, slavery-like conditions and untimely deaths are common among migrant workers. 


Gurung’s various media of artworks are also a reflection of Nepal’s rapidly changing socio-political and socio-economic landscape: a decade long People's War (1996-2006), unstable governments and the impact all of this has had on the personal and professional lives of Nepali citizens. In parallel, his art also speaks to the strong impact of global capitalism, the dramatic economic boom in the Middle East and Southeast Asia and their unprecedented investment in infrastructure development, leading to a high demand of cheap labourers; and consequently, stitching the various patterns of mass migrations seen in Nepal. 


This recent wave of migration from Nepal is the highest it has been since the end of the Second World War. During both the World Wars, hundreds of thousands of Nepali men were mobilized to fight for the British Army as Gurkhas. Those who joined the army almost exclusively belonged to the marginalized indigenous groups such as the Gurung, Magar, Rai and Limbu. 


Hit Man belongs to one of these ethnic groups; men from his community have been serving as Gurkhas for several generations. However, the pattern of migration has now changed. People from his and other ethnic groups are migrating as temporary labourers; most of whom hold menial, low-paying jobs. Nepal’s economy is heavily dependent on the remittance sent by these very workers. Globally, Nepal ranks high in terms of foreign remittance as a percentage of the country’s GDP. Yet, the government has not paid serious attention to the rights of migrant workers; neither has it developed better policies regarding their safety. 


Gurung has traveled to his ancestral homeland and different parts of the country, conducting research in order to explore how migration has dramatically changed the social fabric of Nepal over the years. 

Since 2017 Gurung with his partner Sheelasha Rajbhandari have been continuously  traveling  in various places of Nepal and different countries for their long term research based collaborative project, 'Who Are The Heroes of Our Time?' this series plays on the notion of shifting identity and belonging by interrogating the label of ‘a migrant worker’ and ‘a diaspora’ through participatory performances, visual documentation and archival approaches. 















Everyday 1700 - 2000 Nepalese leave their country, Mostly to join the cheap labour force in Middle East and Malaysia.

Everyday 3 - 5 coffins come back with dead bodies of migrant workers at Tribhuwan International Airport. Sometimes the number can be higher… 

'Everyday at the Airport',2014, 
from the series "I Have to Feed Myself,My Family and My Country..."
Materials:Acrylic,Printed passports,Photographs,Fiberglass,Resin and Wooden Coffin box from Saudi Arabia.
Size:W= 91.44cm, 
L=182.88cm, 
H=45.72cm






From the series of "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…"
Medium:Site- specific installation (coffin boxes from Saudi Arabia ,set of migrant worker’s  uniform from Qatar , imitation gold leaf ,print transfer from newspaper ,  drawing on  light box , arduino) .
Size: light box: 24 cm x 24 cm each (set of 15 )
Coffins:
1.193.5 cm x  59cm 32 cm            
2. 191 cm, 60 cm,33 cm


Once, these two coffins tragically contained the bodies of Nepali migrant workers, whose lives were marked by hardship and exploitation. In a heartless act, their bodies were packaged and sent back from Saudi Arabia to Kathmandu, reducing their identities and histories to mere commodities. However, their families ensured that, in Kathmandu, they received the dignity of a proper funeral and death ritual. This somber event serves as a poignant reminder of the injustices they endured and the urgent need for reform in labor policies and the protection of human rights.


The coffins were positioned vertically, each revealing a unique story. Inside one, imitation gold leaves adorned the interior, while a meticulous line diagram depicted the exact amount of remittances sent by Nepali migrant workers from abroad. In contrast, the other coffin held the uniform and helmet of a brave Nepali construction worker who had worked in Qatar. Its interior was meticulously covered with printouts of foreign job advertisements sourced from national newspapers, symbolizing the aspirations and ambitions of countless individuals seeking opportunities overseas.







‘The Revolutionary Dreams’ Performative Photography Project, 2018
 From the series “I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country”
Contributing‘ Photographer: Sachin Yogal Shrestha
Accompanied by : Sheelasha Rajbhandari,  Bikash Shrestha 
(This project was part of 52 Artists 52 Actions presented by ArtSpace, Sydney).

‘The Revolutionary Dreams’ addresses the ironic realties of society in present day Nepal. This series of performative photography draws on the memories associated with my birthplace, Najare; and the dramatic changes encountered during my recent visit to the area after being away for 19 years. 


Internal and external conflicts such as the continual political instability, a ten-year-long  People's War, as well as global capitalist forces have fundamentally altered the social fabric of villages in developing countries like Nepal. Carrying aspirations for a better future, each day up to 2,000 Nepalis leave the country to join a cheap international labour force, mostly in the Middle East and Malaysia. Simultaneously, internal migration has translocated people from villages to small towns and small towns to cities. Villages are emptying and rapidly losing their societal structures. Places like Najare have been deserted, and the farms left barren, the elderly caretakers watch silently as most able-bodied members of their families leave one by one.  


In this series, I took on the role of various characters from my memory. I wore the clothes and traditional costumes borrowed from my village. I also took on the uniforms of Nepali migrant workers. I then juxtaposed these two images of past and present on a single frame to narrate and depict contradictory realities.




... a person had joined the People’s Liberation Army with dreams and hopes that the revolution would bring change to problematic social, cultural and economical systems. This sky–these houses made of mud, stone, wood, orange and white clay–are all still the same…Only that person is missing. And his dreams have disappeared along with his sweat in the heat of the deserts …



…during festivals and especially on [the lunar new year] Lhosar we used to get dressed in our cultural attire with pomp and circumstance...



… my father was always proud to tell us that we used to have 300 sheep, 150 cows and many buffalos … Each fall the cattle were brought down to our village from the highlands. It was the happiest of times for the children, they would run to play with the lambs, the mastiffs, and enjoy the warm milk cows…All these memories are but a dream–a folktale…



 … my cousin brothers had built this primary school on the bottom of our village following the National Dream. I still remember the children fighting, running around and shouting so loud that the hills and forest could hear them … those rough and crooked benches, they look the same. The walls had some new posters, there was one with a faded national flag, but now the entire school only has 5 or 6 kids, there is no noise—only silence …



…The Chorten has seen many watery eyes say goodbye,

oh how many foreheads with white tikas have passed its boundary?

It has bid adieu to hopeful smiles, 

and welcomed how many with an empty suitcase and a broken heart? 

Aamas and Babas have withered beside it,  

and how many lovers, with their fear and hopes, has this Chorten witnessed?


 … one of the changes I observed was that the villagers started to harvest black cardamom from the community forest. They were excited to share how much they earned in the last season. The initiation is entirely led by women, everybody has to contribute equally for the labour, and earnings were equally distributed, a true inspiration… but I missed those longing love songs, duets echoing across the forest. This time only mild melodies were whistled…



…Shree Jana Jyoti Secondary School is the oldest, and was once the only, secondary school of Baglungpani VDC. Hundreds of students from a cluster of six to seven villages walked miles to pursue their education there …


HAPPY NEPAL !!! PROSPEROUS NEPAL !!! ,2019 onward
from the series I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country...” Medium : Performative Photography
Contributing Photographer: Sheelasha Rajbhandari 

This series has only been completed in 12 out of the 77 districts of Nepal. Due to the COVID-19 situation, the process has been delayed... 


In front of the District Administration Office in Besisahar, Lamjung. The office issues hundreds of passports each day to those seeking foreign employment …

… this bridge is not just to cross the river …

… not too long ago, this abandoned small town was a bustling junction for traders…

… a dream project for thousands of Nepalis, this factory stopped its operations as it was unable to compete with Indian tyres …

… memories of the many Martyrs of the People’s War are still fresh on these walls…  

… earning only 250 rupees a day is not enough to feed my family…

… how many relatives and friends came to say goodbye before the bus arrived …

… the only land we have is this tiny hut. Working on the soil of the landlords is free labour, it doesn’t fill our stomach, but it fills their storehouses …

… before, during this season, all of this land was full of wheat. Left fallow, it has now turned into a grassland. We stopped plating crops here 3 years ago because my sons were frustrated with the low income from farming. They are more attracted to foreign jobs and the lucrative salary it offers…

… my son was the first person who left for a foreign job from our whole community.* But he came back empty handed, now I have to pay back the loan we took out to send him in the first place. I have no idea when he will realize that he needs to go back again to earn money so I can clear this debt… *the'Dom' are a socially marginalized caste group from Nepal’s Tarai.

… there is not a single house in this entire village whose family member is not working in a foreign country…

… i have 3 sons and 4 daughters, 4 of my children are married, but 2 of my daughters are yet to be married. I need at least 150,000 rupees to pay the dowry for each daughter. My two sons are working in Saudi and Qatar. I pray every day that my sons will send the money to marry off my remaining 2 girls… 

Being a Lahure,(a Gurkha in the British Army),was the highest ambition for many boys in my community and it still is. From age of 17 till 21 I repeatedly attempted to pass the tests to join the army but failed. My second option was to join the Indian Army, but there too I failed. I ruined my studies pursuing my desire to be a Lahure. I couldn't even pass the SLC, My higher secondary exams. What could I do other than find work abroad? To go to a good country, you need good money. I didn't have much money, so with some friends from the village, I went to work in Khadi (Gulf).


In
2010, a friend and I went to Malaysia from our village. During my stay there, I was employed at a Chinese glove manufacturing factory for a duration of two years. Although the monthly salary amounted to 450 ringgit, the working conditions were arduous. We were required to work 12-14 hours per day, without receiving any compensation for overtime. Distressingly, the owner would resort to physical violence if we failed to meet their demands. Sadly, my friend struggled to keep up with the fast-paced work, which resulted in him enduring frequent beatings from the employer. Over time, the relentless abuse took a toll on his mental well-being. He became extremely sensitive to noise, often breaking down in tears at even the slightest disturbance. Realizing his worsening condition, I took it upon myself to arrange for his repatriation to Nepal. Despite his return home, the poor soul never fully recovered from the traumatic experiences he had endured. In 2012, there were rumors circulating about the impending destruction of the world. It was during that same year that I decided to return to Nepal. At present, I find solace in the thought that if my time were to come, I would be able to pass away peacefully in my own village, surrounded by my beloved family.
 
I went to India with my brothers from our village, when I was 15 years old. For 5 years, I worked as a security guard in a shopping mall in Delhi. The income from that work was not enough for my household expenses. 3 years ago, I took a loan from my relatives and went to Malaysia. Earnings were good, but there was always a fear of being robbed or cheated! It was scary to return back from work alone. I eventually saved some money to come back (to Nepal). That money was only enough to pay off my previous debts and cover some daily expenses. My heart is in my country, why would I go to another country if I could live with my family and earn here! But what to do, there is no work here. I have heard from friends that Dubai is good for earning, I should probably go there.


Back in 2008, while I was studying at school, my partner and I decided to elope and get married. Regrettably, my family didn't approve of our union due to our different castes. Nevertheless, we embarked on a new journey by opening a small hotel in Dang Bazar. Initially, things were going smoothly, but soon my partner's drinking and gambling habits took a toll on our lives. He neglected our hotel, our home, and worst of all, our children. Whenever I tried to address these issues, he would react angrily, leaving me feeling helpless. It was disheartening to see all my efforts go in vain, as no matter how much I earned, he would recklessly squander it all. With his behavior showing no signs of improvement, I made the tough decision to sell the hotel, placing our children in a hostel, and seeking new opportunities in Qatar. If I had received a better education, perhaps I could have found a good job in this new place. Fortunately, I was able to secure a position as a cleaning staff member at a hotel. All the money I earn goes directly towards supporting our children's education. Occasionally, I also find myself needing to provide some support to my partner. This is the reality of my life. As long as I live, I remain determined to work diligently for the sake of my children's well-being.

During the People's War, I actively participated as a student and was associated with Akhila Nepala Rastriya Svatantra Vidyarthi Yuniyana (Krantikari), also known as the All Nepal National Independent Students Union ( Revolutionary). Following the peace agreement, I ventured into running a small hardware store in my village. Unfortunately, the business didn't flourish as expected, primarily due to excessive borrowing. Retrieving payments from customers proved to be a significant challenge, especially when dealing with acquaintances. As a result, I made the difficult decision to sell the shop in 2014 and sought opportunities abroad. I moved to Saudi, where I resided for a few years, managing to earn a modest income. Currently, I am actively pursuing the possibility of relocating to Kuwait, hoping to improve my financial prospects.  





My grandfather owned 6 acres of land in this village. Unfortunately, my father struggled with alcohol addiction, which led him to sell a significant portion of the land at a low price to people from the hills. These individuals took advantage of his vulnerability, often using liquor to deceive him into selling our lands along the road. Thankfully, my mother managed to save 1 acre of land from being sold. However, unrest plagued our home during my father's lifetime. As the eldest son, I took it upon myself to assist my mother once I gained some understanding of our situation. Balancing my studies with the need to earn money, I took up manual labor to cover household expenses and support the education of my five brothers and sisters. To make ends meet, I had to quiet my studies and instead learn the skills of repairing bikes and cars at an auto workshop. In 2020, I traveled to Saudi Arab for work and worked at a petrol pump. The earnings were satisfactory, and after five years, I returned home on a break and got married. At the point, I no longer desired to return to Saudi. After discussing with my family, we decided to cultivate sugarcane on the remaining land. Our village now has sugar factories that purchase sugarcane at fair prices for sugar production. Everything is running smoothly now. However, if fate doesn't align with our plans, and circumstance force us, I may consider going back to Saudi.




Our ancestors cleared the forest and settled in this place. After the national park was established, this area was listed under the buffer zone. When the park came into existence, our connection and relationship with forests, streams, herbs, vegetation, and the spirits of this land were also broken. Nowadays there are only packed jeeps filled with tourists and soldiers inside the forest! This state has made laws that protect the rights of animals far more than the rights of people. For sustenance we have planted crops in this little plot of land, but for what use? Boars, rhinos, deers come and destroy everything. Sometimes wild elephants enter the village and destroy our houses too. The park authority does not even compensate for the crops damaged by wild animals. A businessman from Madi lent me money so that I could go and work in Malaysia. The agent told me that I would find a good job and the income would also be good, but I had to cut trees in the jungle for two years, it was really difficult and I decided to return. Now, I am going to Qatar again. Let’s see what fate has in store for me.




Who are Heroes of our time? 2017 from the series  "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…"
Hit Man Gurung and Sheelasha Rajbhandari
Photograph by Sumesh Pradhan. 
Photo Edit by Sachin Yogal Shrestha

Since 2017, Gurung and Sheelasha Rajbhandari's on going research project, "Who Are The Heroes of Our Time?", has taken them on a profound exploration across Nepal, Qatar, Hong Kong, Australia, and the Philippines. Through participatory performances and visual documentation, they delve into the labels of 'migrant worker' and 'diaspora', uncovering the implicit judgments and discrimination faced by Nepali migrant communities abroad. Stemming from Nepal's People's War (1996-2006) and subsequent political conflicts, mass migration to the Middle East and South-East Asia has escalated, with remittances becoming a vital part of the country's GDP. However, the experiences of the Nepali diaspora often involve a poignant loss of belonging to their birthplace, cultural heritage, kinship ties, and even their own languages, leading to a profound identity crisis as they are compelled to adapt to new environments and systems while grappling with the challenge of preserving their linguistic and cultural roots. Gurung and Rajbhandari's project critically challenges society's perceptions and calls for greater empathy and recognition of the resilience and struggles of the Nepali diaspora as they navigate these complex realities.



               

               

               





Who Are The Heroes Of Our Time ? , 
from the series “ I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…”
International Art Residency, Para Site, Contemporary Art Center, Hong Kong
July 17 - August 4, 2017
Photography by Matrideep Lohorung Rai, Dipen Yakthungba. 
Photo Edit by Sachin Yogal Shrestha






Who Are The Heroes Of Our Time ? , 2019
from the series “ I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country… ”
International Artist Residency, Bellas Artes Projects, Bataan, Philippines.








Who Are The Heroes Of Our Time ? , 2019
from the series “ I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…”
International Art Residency, ArtSpace Sydney, Sydney , Australia.








'Labour’s Helmet' 2017
from the series "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…"
Material: Gold Platted on Copper
Size: B: 20.5 cm, L: 28.3 cm, H: 16 cm each.
                        




Yellow Helmet & Gray  House  2015
From the series of “I Have to Feed Myself , My Family and My Country” 


Medium :acrylic on canvas
Size : Diptych , 121.92 cm by 152.4 cm each, depth:3.81 cm each
Collection of QAGOMA, Brisbane, Queensland , Australia 
This work was exhibited at THE 8TH ASIA PACIFIC TRIENNIAL OF CONTEMPORARY ART (APT8).

This diptych painting portrays the tragic story of Raju Gurung, a migrant worker from my birthplace, Lamjung. The first panel centers on his helmet, juxtaposed against the opulent skyscrapers of Saudi Arabia, symbolizing the contrast between the region's development and the plight of exploited workers. Hundreds of migrant workers, including Raju, lose their lives each year due to negligence and exploitation. The second panel shows an elderly couple, Raju's parents, holding his passport. Raju's dreams of supporting his family were shattered when he lost his life in a work accident. While the insurance money allowed his parents to build a new house, the void left by their son's untimely death remains in their sorrowful eyes.




9:11 am  2015 from the series of  "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country"

About the title:
 (The time difference between Nepal and Qatar is 2 hrs 45 minutes . When 1st massive earthquake hit Nepal, it was 11:56 am in Nepal and 9:11 am at Qatar.) 
Medium:Mixed media
Size:91.44 cm by 243.84 cm each (two panels) 
This work was exhibited at THE 8TH ASIA PACIFIC TRIENNIAL OF CONTEMPORARY ART (APT8.

In the haunting months of April and May 2015, Nepal faced the devastating impact of twin earthquakes, leaving a trail of destruction and heartbreak. Meanwhile, in Qatar, thousands of  Nepalese migrants dedicated their sweat and toil to construct the grand stadiums for the forthcoming FIFA World Cup 2022. Despite mourning the departure of loved ones and witnessing their homes crumble from afar, they persevered, working tirelessly to complete the ambitious stadium project on time. Their immense contributions, however, went unnoticed and their emotional well-being was neglected, leaving them grappling with separation from their homeland and loved ones during desperate times. Amidst the labor and sacrifice, they built structures for a global celebration while their own lives were marked by heartache and longing, embodying the resilience and strength of the human spirit in the face of unimaginable challenges. 



'Gurkha; a Political Slave or Pride of Bravery?', 2017, from the series "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country..."
Medium : Mixed media (Acrylic, digital print, drawing, stamp ink)
Size: 37cm x 68.9 cm each.
This series of mixed media works delves into Nepal's history, specifically highlighting the conquests of the Shah dynasty and their utilization of Indigenous peoples, later termed Gurkhali, to achieve the so-called unification of Nepal. The year 1816 marked the conclusion of the Anglo-Nepalese war through the signing of the Treaty of Sugauli between the Kingdom of Nepal and the East India Company, signifying not only the end of hostilities but also the subjugation of Nepal to British influence. As a result, Gurkhas were contracted to serve under the East India Company, and in the 20th century, they found themselves fighting valiantly for the British and Allied forces in both the First and Second World Wars. Even after India gained independence in 1947, the colonial legacy persisted, leading to an agreement that transferred four Gurkha regiments from the British to the Indian army. Despite this history of exploitation and colonial domination, it is remarkable, and perhaps troubling, to observe that the Gurung, Magar, Rai, and Limbu ethnic groups maintain a strong tradition of joining the British and Indian armies as Gurkha soldiers. I am interested in exploring the multifaceted dimensions of this tradition, delving into its political, socio-economic, and cultural underpinnings. However, such a profound historical narrative demands critical examination and reflection on the enduring implications it holds for these communities and their relationship with the broader world.







From the series "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My country…" 2012
Medium:Mixed media
Size: 76.2 cm by 101.6 cm




'The Blank Frame', 2014, from the series "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country..."
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Size: Small six pieces 48 cm by 48 cm, each
Middle Canvas: 109 cm by 160 cm







From the series  "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…" 2014
Medium: Acrylic on canvas
Size: 20.32 cm by 30.48 cm each, set of 12 pic




'Mom has a tragic story', 2014, from the series "I Have to Feed Myself, My Family and My Country…"
Size: 152.4 cm by 182.88 cm
Medium: Mixed media




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